When I started this blog, only a few short months ago, I had a vision in mind of what I wanted to write about and why. I was inspired by our courage to take hold of our life and make our dreams happen. I wanted to document this “journey”, both the physical and the mental. I wanted to write about living in another country and becoming an expat. I wanted to share the beauty of this new country and our happiness.
Never once did I want to be a “mommy blogger” or “parenting blogger”. In no way am I saying there is anything wrong with that. I’m only saying that it never once crossed my mind. But how can I write about my life without including the biggest piece of it? How can I write about this journey without including my family? And most of all, how can I not write about the transition from being a career oriented woman to now being a stay-at-home-mom? After all, this is such a HUGE piece of this new lifestyle. Not only am I adjusting to living in a new country and all that this entails, but I am adjusting to letting go of my career so I can spend time with someone who came along by surprise and has completely changed my life as well me.
I’m no longer the person I was before I became I mother. I didn’t know this kind of love existed; or this kind of stress and frustration! My body is not the same on the inside or the out. I look at myself and don’t see the person I was before and this is both gratifying and scary. I have moments of private honesty where I miss the freedom I once had and then feel guilty about these thoughts as if they say I don’t love my son enough; which I know is irrational and completely not true. I have moments of loneliness as I miss my friends, partly because I chose to move away from them and partly because having a child changes those relationships. Making new friends isn’t easy either with having to schedule everything around naps and babysitters which only compounds the loneliness.
But then there is this little person who can bring tears to my eyes just by smiling at me. Who makes me laugh as he dances around and gets so excited to hear music just like his mama. And then this same person can drive this once sane woman, into a total pit of insanity from the frustration this little monster can create in an instant!
All that being said, I have decided to create a new portion of my blog dedicated to my little man and being a mother. I have decided I need an outlet for sharing and receiving feedback. I have decided that these moments are full of emotion and completely part of this journey. I have decided that this is a big part of my “True North”, thanks to Belinda’s series at Found Love Now What. Tomorrow will be the first edition of Monster Mondays. What do you think? Let me know and hope to see you there!