It’s Already Starting?

Glass-shattering high-pitched screams. Hitting. Throwing things. Head-banging. Back arching and writhing on the floor like something out of The Exorcist. 

You seasoned moms know what I’m talking about. You knew it with the first sentence. New moms don’t worry, you’ll be right behind me and on your way to experiencing the joy that is feared by all parents.

Cue scary music, the theme from Jaws, whatever. You get my point.

I’ve noticed that they were coming, but just this past week, it has been hell on earth. Our son is naturally stubborn, independent and head-strong so this phase is just going to be all the more fun for us. Wow, it seems odd to use those words to describe a 17 month-old!

It starts in the morning with screaming because I haven’t come to his room fast enough, especially in the event that I actually “slept in” until 7am. Then he starts fighting me to change him and once we get to the kitchen he wants his drink. And he wants it NOW. Not in the just wait a minute honey while mommy makes it way, but in the RIGHT NOW GIVE IT TO ME I’M GOING TO START CRYING AND THROW MYSELF ON THE FLOOR way!!

He has always been like this about his drink and was like that when he was an infant for his first bottle in the morning. I get it and I’m used to it. But then last week it started happening all day long about any little thing. He’s also never been the best at the grocery store, but never terrible. We usually go early in the morning after he has had breakfast so he is rested and full. I always bring lots of things for distraction in my purse as well as his drink and something like a cereal bar in case he wants a snack. Usually these things work. Not last week. Last week, I actually had to carry him in the store most of the time. He would writhe around in the cart so much I thought he’d fall out and then he’d just scream the same blood-curdling scream he blesses me with at home. Thank God I was with someone or I suppose I would’ve just had to go home.

Photo Source: Pinterest

Photo Source: Pinterest

I’ve tried so many things this past week. I’ve held him and spoken softly to him and if he is not in a full rage this can work. At home, I’ve tried just ignoring the tantrum and then he will start banging his head into things and now throwing anything and everything he can get his hands on; even hitting me. When that started, he began spending 10-15 minutes in his crib alone to cry and scream it out all he wanted. If when I went after those few minutes and he carried on even more, I would turn around and walk out. Usually by the second time, he would calm down. But of course, true to mom guilt, I couldn’t help but wonder if I should be doing something else.

So I started looking online to see if I was doing something wrong or if there were things I should be doing. I found this site on Pinterest about three ways to prevent public tantrums, but really? I already did those common sense things before I started looking to see what else I could do.

Then I found this site called “10 Signs My Toddler is Turning 2“. I checked it out. My son is doing all of these same things!

1. Screaming. Yep, this is his new language of choice. 

2. Anything you say no to he wants even more. I thought I had until the teenage years to experience fun such as this. 

3. Throwing things. He will throw anything in his reach, but don’t worry, he will go and get something just to come back and throw it at me or in front of me if something is not readily available. He wants to make sure I fully get his point.

4. Temper tantrums. I agree that these can be quite funny as long as it’s at home. Out in public? Not so funny.

5. Independence. Don’t you dare try to help my boy do anything if you know what’s good for you!

6. Running away. Yes this is a big one that drives me crazy. He used to come to me easily and now I have to chase him everywhere! He thinks it’s funny. Little does he know he’s only wearing down my patience even more!

7. Hitting and kicking. This one really gets me and is an immediate time-out.

8. Impatience. Well, he was born with that quite naturally so I’m not sure this will ever improve.

9. No more cuddles. These I still get but only on his terms.

10. Turning door handles. He tries this but mostly he just likes to close all of the doors.

Wait. Just. A. Minute.

He hasn’t even made it to the half-way mark to 2 yet!? He’s only 17 months old!

Does this mean I get 7 months plus next year of this? Does it mean I’m getting it out of the way now? What do you guys think? Any words of wisdom for this new mom? When does it end???

Until then, I’ll just enjoy a bottle glass of wine. Is it too early to open it now? {sobbing}

Photo Source: Pinterest

Photo Source: Pinterest

Oh and look at this! I was featured! Definitely check out these lovely ladies (just click on the button).

I was featured on The Mommy Monday Blog Hop

About Deanna H

Successful toddler chaser. Avid wine lover. Aspiring writer. Maybe or maybe not in that order.
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30 Responses to It’s Already Starting?

  1. bevchen says:

    My brother used to bite when he had temper tantrums. He also tried to throw dictionaries at people… luckily he wasn’t strong enough to get them very far.

    Unfortunately, I have no advice to offer you, not being a parent or ever likely to be.

  2. oh man. i’m sending you strength and happy thoughts (to go with the wine, of course)! i don’t have any experience, so i feel kinda bad even trying to give advice, but two of my mom friends use this one, so it doesn’t hurt to share, right? it’s giving the child choices. you’re not saying no. but you give him the choice of the right thing, which comes with happy time (??)/parents are proud of them or maybe even a small reward, or the wrong thing, which the child might get hurt if he falls or something of their own doing. like, if it’s buying a toy..a choice to throw out another toy he likes. it’s getting them to think about things on their own and the consequences and they feel more in control. i mean, i have zero experience of doing this on my own, i’ve just watched in amazement of friends handling the terrible twos stage. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but anything to ward off that first paragraph! (hope this wasn’t too pushy!) good luck!

    • No not too pushy at all! And I always feel bad when so many that follow my blog, don’t have kids and think that means they can’t or shouldn’t offer advice, opinions or help. Nonsense! I’m open to any ideas and even just the kind words people offer for support are always welcomed and appreciated. That is a good idea and it is something I do. I just wonder if he understands any of this stuff yet. Like I said he’s not even close to 2 yet so I’m not sure where he is as far as cognitively. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Expat Eye says:

    My god. I don’t know how you ever put the wine down ;)

  4. Sara says:

    That cartoon at the end made me laugh. We have the same things here and it is exhausting. She just learned the word ‘ow’ so I am hoping she is starting to understand that she hurts people (and our poor dog) when she hits and throws things.

    • ugh isn’t it? I have some days I’m so exhausted and all I did all day was combat tantrums! haha Ow was his second word, but I don’t think he understands it yet. I’m sorry you’re going through it too, but makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone! :-)

  5. I was quite headstrong as a child - I had the tantrum down to the art form. Apparently one time I tried my best to give a commanding performance in the middle of the grocery story. My mom ducked into the next aisle as I was kicking and screaming on the floor, and poked her head around to watch me. Once I realized I didn’t have a “real” audience, I got myself up and pulled myself together lol. I think it all comes down to wanting attention. Good luck!!! :)

  6. Cindi says:

    Your last cartoon is priceless. My babies are 30 and 27; what I remember: Wine. And then a little more. And if my best friend was in town, vodka. (Obviously after Dad comes home.)

    All while chanting the mantra, “…. this too shall pass.”

    Seriously, their tantrums (especially my youngest daughter’s) are a dim memory now - and that’s the best advice I can offer. It really WILL pass.

    Sending virtual hugs and patience!!

  7. Annie says:

    My 3 kids threw pretty good fits, but it was my best friend’s boys that threw the “I think I am going to lock him in a room” kind of fits. I’ve been at her house, sitting through these. One time I even told her to go to the gym and run out her anxiety/guilt/nerves. The lack of control really IS just a phase. Her “hitting/throwing/screaming” son is now 7 years old. He has since learned not to hit, most of the time. (he has a little brother….that part won’t go away completely LOL) Almost all tantrums end with him fuming in his room until he calms himself down.

    The good part about these strong personalities? Her son is STRONG. He is a leader. He won’t allow anyone to say anything about his family without hearing from him. She hasn’t had to worry about him picking up bad habits from friends. He knows who he is and will make his way in the world.

    (((hugs))) I know the mom guilt when you leave him in his room. But you are teaching him what is appropriate and what is ineffective. As he grows he will learn more self control.

    • Oh Annie your comment was apparently what I needed to hear because it brought tears to my eyes. We try to think on the positive side, joking that someday he will use his evil powers for good. :-)
      Thank you. Thank you for the support and kind words. It is appreciated. Glad you stopped by!

  8. acecb says:

    LOL, That cartoon sums it up pretty well. And Cindi is right “…this too shall pass.” A woman I used to work with would always sweetly listen and give advice and then end with that, and she’s right. Then something else comes along.
    This stage sucks - some days we revert into it - but eventually it eases. Mine’s also pretty head-strong (can’t imagine where he gets it from *whistles innocently*), so we would try the choices, but sometimes, I would just say “tough” and deal with the fight. Sometimes they just don’t feel well (teething molars), but sometimes they’re just frustrated at being little. Hang in there - you’ll both make it through. Maybe invest in a “crate o’ wine o’ the month club” in the meantime =)

    • I have a decoration in my bathroom that says “This to shall pass. Now would be good.” I laugh when I see it because it’s how I feel most days. It’s the balance between setting boundaries and being a softy that I have hard time with. Ohhhh I wonder if they have subscription wine here in Germany? :-)

  9. SJ Begonja says:

    Ohhhh I wish I had the answers for you. My son is 14 month old and I can see this starting at our place too. Not at your level…. yet. Are we allowed to never let them leave the house again?

  10. Erika says:

    Whoa! This sounds so intense and draining! But it also sounds like he’s also really smart and emotionally intuitive — he’s starting to understand how to use his emotions to get what he wants more directly. This is actually fascinating — his personality is starting to develop! I’m not sure if you’re big into psychology, but have you ever heard of Myers-Briggs? Anyway, I know there’s a book on Amazon called Gifts Mothering or something that shows how to use your personality as a mother to work with the personality of a child. Something like that might help as it might be more individualized to his particular type of tantrums and why, as opposed to using a general method. I’m sure there’s a wealth of information out there (and probably in the comments) for how to handle this with a winning outcome, but just know that I feel for ya and hope you find a solution that works! :)

    • Hmmm that’s definitely interesting and worth looking into. I’m a licensed social worker so definitely into psychology. :-) I don’t know if there is such a thing as a winning outcome when dealing with toddler tantrums. Haha But thank you for your support Erika and I’m going to check out that book. If nothing else, it sounds interesting. :-)

  11. Oh man, sending you lots of virtual support :) I have only experienced the Terrible Twos from the periphery (I’m an aunt to 16 crazy awesome kiddos) but know that it is no walk in the park. Hang in there!

  12. Very funny post. Feeling your pain, as mine is the same! And I also do the putting him in his room thingie. Have also been told it will pass - thank God for that. Or as one German direct mum told me, “You have one year of hell left.”

  13. Sam says:

    I think my uterus just shriveled up. Oh man tantrums are the worst!

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