Saturday Feature: Tales From The Motherland

I love this link-up so much! I hate to admit it, but I’m just not always able to get to everyone’s blogs during the week and I miss out on some great posts sometimes. But, when you share them here, I never miss out and neither does anyone else who follows along. I had some great ones this week and even more fun were the new people who joined us. Just so happens that this week’s winner is a newbie because this post is just too funny and right up my alley this week. We sold our car and haven’t found another one yet so it has been very challenging and stressful. We don’t live in a city where there is easy access to public transportation and while everything is going to be fine, I still used the word “HATE” a lot this week.Plus, this post mentions the other place I call home on the internet, Tipsy Lit. 

So, when I saw Dawn’s post, I just knew I had to feature it. Dawn writes over at Tales From The Motherland and is the process of waiting to hear back about the publishing of her novel. She is a traveler, as are her children, with one who lives an an expat herself, like many of us. Her youngest is about to graduate and I mention this because the pieces she writes about her children just bring your emotions out in full force. She has so much knowledge and wisdom to share about parenting and is an excellent writer who has been freshly pressed twice and also had a story published like myself.

A pretty picture I took, to soften the blow of the word “hate.”

First, let me explain the title… I can easily come up with 21 things that I irrationally (if you say so) hate, but the idea for this post comes from Ericka Clay’s post, which she stole from me, before I could think of it. She did it first, but it was just so great, I had to do my own list. These are 21 Things I Irrationally  Hate:

  1. Bloggers who come up with ideas for posts that I totally wish I had thought of myself. This is specifically directed at Ericka Clay, at Tipsy Lit, for coming up with this particular blog post, before I could think of it myself… Which, for the record, I eventually would have. (It should be noted that Ericka’s post is titled, “Twenty-one Things I Irrationally Hate, while mine is “21 Things…” See, it’s different. I thought of using the number… not spelled out. Not the same.)
  2. That my husband can’t in fact read my mind. If he could, we could avoid so many arguments, because he would know that I’m thinking: … And don’t argue with me.
  3. When someone in my house, generally a teenager, or someone much younger than me, eats the last of something that I didn’t say I wanted (particularly left-overs that I cooked!)… but I did… really want. This could also be filed under: people who can’t read my mind.
  4. Raisins, especially cooked in anything. (And once you’ve picked on out of your kid’s diaper… well, you can never eat one again!)
  5. When anyone at the grocery store, anyone, calls me “Mam.”  It’s bad enough that I have to do the grocery shopping in the first place, without also being reminded that I’m a Mam now.
  6. Sauerkraut.
  7. Scales that don’t say what I want.
  8. That eating chocolate chip cookies/bacon/nutty bits/milkshakes/Cheez Its/ Doritos/most of my favorite foods, don’t melt fat.  Who thought of that bullshit science anyway? Thank God, sushi does… melt fat.
  9. That working out and not eating does in fact burn fat.  Again, science. Really?
  10. That I’m 51 and I didn’t start doing what I really want to be doing: writing, thirty years ago. For real.
  11. Editors and Agents that seem to think it’s reasonable for me to wait 6 to 9 months, to know if they like my manuscript. Don’t they know that I’m 51 and wish I’d done this thirty years ago? (Even if I couldn’t have written this particular novel 30 years ago.)
  12. That other writers keep telling me that I do indeed have to wait this long to hear from editors and agents, and that: “that’s just the way it is.” Bite me, agents, editors and other writers.
  13. Most teenage girls.
  14. Teenage boys who say “dude” to everyone. Really? Dude?
  15. Other bloggers who get their novels published, while I wait to hear from editors and agents… Hmm, Ericka Clay just got her novel published.  And well, it does look really good, but… Other bloggers who get their novels published.
  16.  That bladder control issues, wrinkles, acne, weight gain, and a host of other insults, all come at an age when you are already freaking out, just thinking: What the fuck! I only have twenty (reasonably good) years left? And I haven’t heard from that agent or editor yet!
  17. Stores who post a “We card anyone under 40,” sign, and then card me. Do we really need to make that point, Mam?
  18. People who are always on time. So, I’m a little late sometimes. It starts innocently: I have some extra time, and then some friends from high school, who I wasn’t necessarily friends with in high school, have posted some things on Facebook that I really need to read? And like, and comment on.  And then there was a photo on the sidebar of Facebook that I had to see: of a snake eating a crocodile (never mind that snakes give me the willies, and these photos totally freaked me out)… Which led to a photo of an otter (!!) eating an alligator… Which got me wondering when crocodiles and alligators became such losers… Which got me wondering what Liza Minnelli had to say about Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscar joke… which made me wonder which award winning movies I should add to Netflix (because yes, I still use Netflix)… which got me checking out other movies, and realizing I’ll never get to see the 3,452 movies on my Netflix list…  Why the hell doesn’t the rest of the world realize that shit happens, and I might be late?
  19. When people put the chips on the cereal shelf, or the measuring cups in the Ziplock- bag drawer, and then when I complain explain why I don’t like that, ask me why I care, when my office is a hoarder’s den… like chips have anything to do with my office?
  20. Yellow bananas. Make mine a semi-green one, every time.
  21. Whistling. Unless it’s in this song. Or this one.
  22. People who complain.

Yeah; that’s twenty-two. I had more than 21, and I didn’t want to erase any of them. I also hate limits.  Now, share yours. What do you hate? You can make your own list… but be a good egg, and link back to my post, and Ericka’s. And Note: I think I have more than made up for borrowing Ericka’s idea, by linking to her a bazillion times here!

Hope you enjoyed that and if you did, make sure you go by and check out Tales From the Motherland for yourself. Have a great weekend everyone!

10 thoughts on “Saturday Feature: Tales From The Motherland

  1. talesfromthemotherland

    Wow! Danke! Dank schön! (Remember, I have a German exchange student ;-) ) I can’t believe I actually won something… that hardly ever happens. Hardly. This is such an honor, Deanna. After finding you on My Muted, I’m so glad I found my way back to this blog as well. And, I’m so touched and thrilled that you liked both of these posts (one on children and the 21). I probably say “hate” too much… probably. But, it was all in good humor here, and I’m really excited that you have featured it here. I totally didn’t expect to win. I can go to bed a very happy girl now. ;-) Thanks! You rock! xo

    1. Deanna Herrmann Post author

      Bitteschön! Haha. You’re silly. You won the Tipsy Lit prompted and you and Kameko seem to be the only ones to beat Duncan. I’m so glad that you’re excited to win. I’ve received some great feedback about this linkup so I hope it sends some new people your way as it has for others. At the same time, I hope you come across some lovely new people as well. Sleep tight! xo

      1. talesfromthemotherland

        I feel like I’m falling further and further behind in reading posts, and finding new bloggers! It sucks! I try very hard not to follow anyone, who I won’t have time to read. I read, or check out, each post of the ones I follow, EVERY time. BUT, that is getting harder and harder, and they often sit for days while I work my way through the in-box. I feel so guilty when I don’t get to posts… but then, I often see that those same folks haven’t read mine in a while… and I get all topsy turvy!

        You rock Deanna, for offering this and supporting other bloggers! Thanks so much!

    1. Deanna Herrmann Post author

      Thanks Brittany. We needed on with German Tüv so we could drive it right away. Luckily we got one today!


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