Welcome to the second week of Monster Momday. If you were ever wondering why I chose Monday {maybe you think it is because of the alliteration} I’ll tell you. I chose Monday because this is the day most everyone dreads. It’s the beginning of the work week, whether you work outside or inside the home. It’s the end of your weekend, your free time and the beginning of obligations and responsibility. For me, it is the beginning of loneliness and boredom. [Cue the violins and Debbie Downer pity party] M starts his work week today and that leaves me here alone with my little monster.
To be clear, this is how I feel as a woman, as a wife, as a mother and as a person. It is not an indication of how I feel about my son or my husband. They are the brightest lights in my life. This is about only a moment, a glimmer of an insight to some less than happy feelings. 
The paradox of this whole situation is that if you changed it to a perfect scenario allowing me to work outside of the home, it wouldn’t change how I feel. I’m not unhappy being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) and haven’t reached that point where I miss having a career yet. I enjoy spending these precious moments with my son because before too long, they will be gone. I already missed the first year of these sweet times. 
I don’t mind keeping house or cooking. I do hate the current phase of toddler eating, but that will be a post for another day. But what I miss is human contact and interaction. I miss connecting with people and having a genuine conversation. I feel isolated.
I don’t think this has so much to do with being a SAHM as it does the combination of being a SAHM AND an expat. Having a toddler doesn’t always provide you with the freedoms necessary to go out and meet new people. I have to schedule my day around when he needs to eat and sleep. Also, M and I are currently sharing one vehicle which is not conducive to allowing me much freedom either. We are working on getting that second car, but until then I’m somewhat limited. I have received invites to meet other expats, but typically they are in City Center and after 8:30 at night. M is on second shift right now, so I would have to find a sitter, which I typically save those requests to actually spend time with M. I want to just go out and explore on my own but so many times, the monster loses his patience. He gets bored and fussy and is ready to be out of his car seat or stroller doing what he wants to do. I can’t blame him. I want to be free too. For another paradox and to continue my circular thinking here, I think I would feel this way in the states as well. Maybe it would not be to this extent if we lived back in Las Vegas where I have my family and friends, but they all have lives. They have moved on since I lived there so many years ago and we are all at different life stages. So again, it still comes down to meeting someone in a similar life stage as myself.
Maybe I am bored and lonely simply because I am a SAHM?? Maybe I am in denial? Oh geeze….that takes me into those “Am I a bad mom” types of questions.I don’t want to go down that path because that too could be a post in itself. Moms these days put way too much pressure on themselves.
Don’t worry, I can see the bigger picture. I know this is temporary. We will have a second car eventually. Monster will start kindergarten next year. I will return to work at some point. I will meet people along the way. I know these things. But they don’t help me on Mondays and they don’t help me in this time period of my life where I feel so alone.
So I leave you with these questions, how do I find things to do with my son with so many limitations? How do I learn about this new place in which I live other than the internet? How do I meet other SAHMs who can relate to how I feel? Is there something I should be doing that I am not? Would love to hear any feedback you may have to help this first time SAHM and maybe get my week on track!
