Share Your Secret

I know what you’re thinking. I just had a baby. This is the happiest time in my life. 

But do you feel happy? Think about that word for minute…FEEL.

Instead, are you feeling anxious or overwhelmed? Of course I feel anxious and overwhelmed! I just had a baby! I am sleep-deprived, surviving on whatever quick food item I can grab to eat or the casserole I can just throw in the oven. I have this new little being who is 100% dependent on me to survive. I am feeding him every two hours, changing diapers even more often it seems, washing clothes and sheets covered in spit up. I worry about making sure he has eaten enough, slept enough, if he is too cold, too hot, SIDS. The list of things I worry about for my child is endless even though he only just arrived. I worry about taking him out in public too soon and exposing him to germs. I worry about driving with him in the car seat and getting in a car accident. But no, I’m not overwhelmed. I feel fine. This is normal.

Do you feel irritable or angry? Umm yes, see above. How could I not be? This is normal as a new parent.

Do you have problems with eating or sleeping? Well, yes I do…are you paying attention? I just had a baby! Again, normal parent stuff here. 

Do you feel out of control or like you are going crazy? Why are you asking me these stupid questions?

Do you feel sad or depressed? Okay, seriously, where are you going with this? How in the world could I feel sad or depressed after just giving birth to the most amazing little person in the world?

Do you have upsetting thoughts that you just can’t get out of your head? Well…..yes, but it’s because I worry about my son. I worry all the time that something bad will happen, like SIDS or a car accident, or I will fall with him while walking down the stairs. Isn’t it normal to worry?

It is so easy to disregard some things as being “normal” for the adjustment that comes along with being a new parent or even becoming a parent again for the second, third, tenth time. There is a fine line that separates what one would consider “normal” to what one would consider “abnormal”. (I put those words in quotes because as a mental health professional, I don’t particularly like them because of what they imply.) Denial is a powerful thing. As you can see, it is easy to find ways to justify feelings, thoughts or behaviors.

But, did you know that 1 in 8 women experience postpartum depression? Did you know that the symptoms can include forms of anxiety and are not limited to depression? Did you know that these symptoms can occur anytime during the first twelve months after pregnancy?

In my opinion, there is a lot of shame that centers around postpartum depression which prevents women from sharing honestly how they are feeling. Feeling depressed or anxious in an unhealthy way goes against everything you have probably known or expected about motherhood.

It is important to not only understand how you are feeling, but if and how it is interfering with your daily functioning. Sometimes you may not even be aware, but your spouse or family member may be so be patient and listen if they are expressing concerns for your health and well-being.


Please know it is okay to share. In fact, it is better to share and get help and there are so many options. If you are suffering please consider these options:

  1. Confide in your spouse or a close friend. You’ll be amazed how much better you will feel by doing so.
  2. Confide in your health care professional.
  3. Seek counseling through a mental health professional. There are many who specialize in postpartum depression and women’s issues.
  4. Attend local support groups. Most communities have them, they are usually free and some even have childcare options.
  5. Find an online forum or resource. Here is just one I recommend.
  6. And most importantly, if you have feelings of harming yourself or your child, contact a suicide hotline immediately.

Please don’t be afraid to tell someone. Share this secret of yours.

And as the “someone” on the other end, be supportive. Don’t judge and don’t shame. This person needs your help, love and support and they chose you to share their secret with.


This entry was posted in Monster Momdays and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Share Your Secret

  1. I wish I did any of those things. I wallowed in my depression which caused immense strain on my marriage back then.

    • Oh thank you for sharing. I thought of your post I read recently when I saw your comment. I didn’t share much of mine either but I did confide in my husband. This is why I felt that sharing your secret was a fitting title. It’s so hard to share. I plan on posting about my own experience next week.


  2. This is such a “touchy” subject because like you say, you’re “supposed” to be elated. I can’t relate personally as I am not a mother, but I do think that there are unrealistic expectations for life to be like a scene from Pleasantville. When is that ever the case?

  3. I have countless friends who have suffered (in silence) with the same. It took just one coming out about it, and then they all did.
    Good for you for talking about it!

  4. Ace says:

    The first few months were especially difficult - looking back I’m still not sure if there was PPD or not. But I have a wonderful husband and even though they weren’t close in location, our families were very supportive. But it’s so important to let ANYONE know what you’re feeling. This post is so important. Thank you. =)

  5. Thanks for writing about this! Postpartum is such a crazy time in a woman’s life. You don’t have a “normal” anymore and adjusting to life with this new being is hard! On top of that the depression/anxiety that most women face. I’m convinced the number is higher then reported. Even if they are only feeling it for a week or two. It counts. Mamas got to speak up! And get help/support! :)

  6. Mrs.AOK says:

    Stupid worry. I think we all as mothers at some point feel sad because we’re worried about what could happen…
    Becoming a mother, has mad me happy but extremely anxious.
    I love that your sharing this with Moms! Thanks again for a great post linkup Mommy Monday.

  7. Pingback: Mommy Monday Blog Hop - Week 17 - The Squishable Baby

  8. Pingback: Mommy Monday Blog Hop! | Redefining Mom A Working Mom's Blog

  9. Pingback: Mommy Monday {co-host} - Our Three Peas

  10. Crystal says:

    Post Partum Depression can be a very serious issue and I’m glad your bringing attention to it, so many mothers do not recognize the signs. We usually all feel a period with the baby blues after a baby is born but monitoring it is so important.

  11. Pingback: Sharing My Secret: One Mom’s Journey with Postpartum Depression | From Casinos To Castles

I truly value my readers and will always respond to your comments. So, let me know what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s